I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
