can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize