thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
