Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
