office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
