okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize