ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
