I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
