My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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