No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
