Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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