I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
