In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
