yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize