why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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