Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
