don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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