Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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