I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
