You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize