I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
