my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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