For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
