i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
