ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
