i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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