I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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