We're facebook friends in real life
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize