I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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