feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
