oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
