I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
