This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
