a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
