Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
