white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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