its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
