Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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