Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
