look no pants
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
