I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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