WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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