I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
