Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
