Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
