For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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