ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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