she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize