I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize