i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
