In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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