You can't special order awesome
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
