Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
