normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
