exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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