i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
