yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
