your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
