If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
