screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
