She said her name was "party"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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