ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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