my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
