WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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