life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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